What he thinks
by Wolfenden
Summary: Just a random one shot i thought up about how Lavi sees Allen, involves shonen ai so don't read it if you don't like that kind of thing. Please enjoy. Now with how Allen sees Lavi too!
1. Lavi

**Disclaimer: I don't own -man or any of the characters.**

**Hope you enjoy I just seem to be sprouting random one shots recently, inspiration is unknown. This is set from when Lavi appears in the manga up until just before they end up in the Ark.  
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When Lavi first saw Allen he was surprised. Everyone was causing such a fuss over this boy who looked so innocent that he couldn't possibly be an exorcist. He still thought that when the boy went wandering off on his own only to be attacked by multiple Akuma. He had to admit though, Allen knew what he was doing when it came to destroying Akuma and his weapon was quite strange.

He still thought he was naïve and innocent though, he was too kind and forgiving for his own good that Lavi thought it was a miracle he'd lasted this long. Still Allen intrigued him despite the flaws he noted, everything that should have made him a terrible exorcist seemed to only make him better and stronger than any other exorcist he knew.

It was when he saw Allen comforting Krory after he'd destroyed Eliade that he knew the boy wasn't as innocent as he seemed. No one could have such a pained look in their eyes and still be innocent. Oddly this upset him, he felt that Allen _should_ be that innocent, that he should be sheltered from the evils of the world. What he saw when Allen's eye had healed horrified him, that boy should not have to see a thing like that every time he came across an Akuma, he didn't deserve such a fate and Lavi wished he could help him with his burden.

That's when he realised he was getting attached, something as a Bookman he shouldn't be doing.

He watched and took notes on how Allen interacted with everyone he met, he was so damn polite it was frustrating, a proper english gentleman he'd joked. Unless you got him really riled about his Master or something like that he was so calm and friendly that to be honest it drove him mad. For some reason he desperately wanted to find some faults to give himself a reason to stop getting attached, after all the reasons he'd originally found no longer looked like faults in his eyes.

He enjoyed teasing Allen and joking around with him, getting in to arguments just to see how he'd react. Lavi had been so surprised at how Allen behaved when it came to playing cards, but then it was to do with his Master so he should have seen it coming, it made a nice change to see him acting so ridiculous though not to mention it was a little bit scary.

He'd gotten so close to the other he didn't fully realise it till he was no longer there.

Lavi felt that it hurt more than it should have when they'd found where Allen had last been in that blood soaked bamboo glade. He really shouldn't have picked up that playing card that had been part of the deck he always carried round, but it was a part of Allen, the only part left.

He knew then that he was way beyond attached, this boy, this white haired innocent exorcist had captured him mind and soul.

He was so unbelievably angry with him for dying, Allen was a constant, a light that never went out. He never thought Allen would go first out of all of them.

It felt as if he could breath again when they found out he was still alive, critically injured and not likely to continue being an exorcist, but alive. Some part of him felt this was best, Allen cared too damn much to be an exorcist and not get constantly hurt by what he had to do. Another secret part though wished he was still able to be an exorcist so that they didn't have to be apart, he missed him.

Lavi knew he was thinking about him constantly when he kept catching himself fingering the playing card hidden in his pocket.

He tried to be himself, to carry on as he had before Allen had appeared in his life, part of him knew the old man was watching him, could see how false the face he was wearing actually was. But he carried on, if Allen couldn't be an exorcist any more then he'd do the job for him and hopefully that would make Allen just a little bit happy.

The rage he felt when that Noah, Tykki Mik boasted about killing Allen was overwhelming. He didn't care that it was obvious how upset he was, there was no way he was just going to stand there and listen to him talk about how he'd killed his best friend. It didn't matter that gramps would know how attached he was, that man was going to pay for harming the one person in his life he'd come to care so much for.

When Allen suddenly appeared in front of him in Edo he nearly cried. Allen was here, whole and so much stronger than before, he was right by his side as if he'd never gone. If the situation hadn't been so serious he would have seriously damned everything else and kissed him there and then.

That's right, kiss him.

Lavi Bookman Jr who was not suppose to feel attachment had somehow fallen in love with Allen Walker the prophesised Destroyer of Time. The irony did not escape him. And he would hold on tight and never let go now that Allen had come back to him, even if he had to renounce being a Bookman he would never let Allen leave him again.

And so the lonely boy who thought it was impossible to feel, fell in love with a white haired angel that was the most loved by God.

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I thought that was a bit sappy and honestly have no idea where the thought came from to write it.

Any way please review if you want me to write something similar from Allen's point of view. Thanks for reading.


	2. Allen

I couldn't seem to get this out of my head, 'What he thinks' seemed a bit unfinished so I wanted to write from Allen's point of view.

It goes up to the same point in the manga, maybe I'll get round to writing after that bit at a later point.

Hope you enjoy!

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Allen didn't know what to make of Lavi when they first met. He just popped up out of no where and started teasing him, he was so lively and although he appeared friendly Allen felt that there was a certain distance to him. What could have happened that made him hold everyone at a distance while making them feel like they knew him so well?

It was typical that his eye was damaged when they met and that Lavi was there when it healed and revealed that the curse had got stronger. He almost hated the tone in Lavi's voice when he asked if that was the Akuma's soul, he'd seen what Allen had to see almost every day and Allen dreaded the pity he was sure would follow. But Lavi seemed to push it aside… but the look on his face confused Allen, he didn't understand his expression. Later he realised to his amazement that Lavi respected and was in slight awe of him for how he coped with his cursed eye.

Allen enjoyed spending time with Lavi, he was fun and could always distract him from his worries. He was reliable and Allen was occasionally taken by surprise when he forgot how smart he was and how serious he could be, after all half the time he acted like an idiot. As they continued to work together Allen felt Lavi's earlier distance shrink and all his emotions seemed to be more genuine.

He didn't know when he fell in love with Lavi, maybe it was when Lavi first genuinely smiled at him instead of just for the sake of it. It could have been when he saw and heard Lavi's panic when an Akuma caught Allen off guard. His gentleness later when he handled his injuries and the worry in his eye signified the distance disappearing completely. Allen felt honoured when he realised that Lavi had only dropped the distance with him.

When Tykki Mik killed him Allen was able to mostly ignore the pain in favour of his sorrow at not getting the chance to tell Lavi that he loved him. That seemed to hurt more than losing his arm and having the Tease eat through his heart.

He hoped Lavi wouldn't hate him for dying.

When he woke up alive in the Asian branch he felt the loss of his Innocence in more ways than one. There was the physical pain and the feeling of losing his purpose.

If he couldn't be an exorcist what was he supposed to do?

The other pain was that he couldn't go help his friends or see Lavi because he was no longer any use to the Order. When he was told he might be able to regain his Innocence he tried so hard, he didn't want to lose the chance to see Lavi again and tell him his feelings. When he realised what he had to do to regain his Innocence he agreed without hesitation, he would fight for both Akuma and humans, especially for Lavi.

The look on Lavi's face when Allen appeared in Edo overwhelmed him, it was a mix of shock, desperation, relief and sheer joy. Shock at seeing him appear from no where, desperation that this was true and he really was here, relief that he was alive and well and sheer joy that he had come back to them. There was so much emotion there and the amount of happiness in his smile a few seconds later made Allen melt. The Earl himself would have to tear them apart next time, he wasn't going to be leaving again.

And so the white hired exorcist who had been abandoned over and over found love in an unusual Bookman who went against his Order to be with him.

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Please review and tell me what you think.

Should I do something similar from when they enter the Ark onwards?


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